Rich. Famous. Successful. Don’t Get There At The Expense Of Your Mental Health

I’ve been watching Dickinson for quite some time now. It’s about Emily Dickinson, an American poet who was born in the 1800s. The first season is about her coming out to her family and friends that she’s a writer. It’s a difficult bargain because she feels like a misfit and misunderstood. She resorts to extreme […]

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​Modern Day Imprisonment.

I dodged a bullet disguised as an opportunity yesterday. I think you know that already because I just don’t know how to keep my mouth shut sometimes. You know, part of the reason why our ancestors went before us, is so that we could have it easy. My mentors have had it rough, so that […]

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Stick To Your Journey

I turned down a job offer today. Rona had me all spooked up and so I sent out an application this morning with a draft of my previous works. Surprisingly, they responded after five hours. During those five hours, I napped. Took a shower. Played a couple of video games. Bonded with family and interrupted […]

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Tribe and Community

I stumbled into writing when I was around ten years old. In fact, most of my contexts were based on my favorite food or why I hated my breakfast that morning. I didn’t even know then that I was an introvert because for some weird reason, I always needed to decompress whenever I engaged with […]

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Fireplace and Simba

I am an avid fan of Grownish. I think it’s an interesting reflection of the society and how young people at my age view the world. Millenials are always portrayed as a complicated bunch who like to stir up the pot and cause unnecessary fiasco. We choose to do things differently despite what we’ve known all […]

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Necessary Snapping

I remember watching a reality show years back called the Jersey Shore Family House. It was about seven roommates- four males and three females who met at a summer shore house when they were in their early twenties and promised to reconnect. Twenty years later, they met again dramatically as they reminisced on the good old […]

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Imagination

I’ve always had an adventurous and curious imagination. I remember my first interaction with creative films was way back when I was around five or six years old. My dad used to own this old cassette player which we’d insert cassette tapes manually in order to get entertainment. It was fun, especially the ejecting part, where […]

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Zoe Leonard- I Want A President

​I followed Boniface Mwangi on Twitter recently. He’s been a vital part of my influence ever since I came out as an activist. I love the fact that he was a creative before he tapped onto the activism side of him. He does very impeccable photography especially of the Nairobi CBD and I just love […]

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Self-Preservation

My father sent me a text this morning. He needed me to print something for him and give it to him at the end of the day. He always sends me on these little errands without giving me any cash and then gets mad when I ‘forget’ to do it. However, none of us is […]

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Cub Killers

I got a call last week from a guy I had blocked three years ago. He was a gang banger; actually, he still is. At first, he didn’t know that I knew that but I did. Every time we were chilling with our mutual friends, he’d get these calls from unknown numbers and he’d excuse himself […]

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Still Work

Weekends are always hectic for me. You know how in an African home, the lady of the house decides to do thorough cleanings on those times. She takes down the curtains. Changes the dirty bed sheets and duvet covers to clean ones. Dusts the house and removes any cobwebs creeping around paying special attention to all […]

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Self Saboteur

A lady was narrating about her 27th birthday escapades in South Africa. While they were in a restaurant with her girlfriends, they unexpectedly bumped into Brenda Fassie and her man. Brenda Fassie did the unexplainable- she gave the lady and her girlfriends R100 each, told them that they were beautiful and said that they should […]

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Choose Your Activism

I’m slowly starting to realize that I’m gonna end up being an activist in one way or another. The other day as I was watching the trailer for Boniface Mwangi’s documentary- Softie the Film, it sparked a flame in me that I couldn’t quite comprehend. His articulation. His tenacity. His sense of humor which was […]

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Shape Shifting

I think I told you guys that I was working on a novel sometime back. It was intentional that I put it out there so you could all make me accountable, but we’ve been dealing with so much lately- the last thing on our minds is a debuting novel. Here’s is the update. I’m working […]

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Spiritual Hygiene

I haven’t always had a good sense of spiritual hygiene. In fact, when my self-esteem was deteriorating a year and half ago, it kinda rubbed off on my decisions based on the people I allowed into my life. Someone once tweeted that we should be very selective about who we allow into our energy. Personalities, […]

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Christianity and Justice

It’s Sunday today. The faithfuls should be heading to church right about now. But unfortunately, my cramps kicked in ruthlessly this morning and now I’m immobile, laying on my bed. (Lie: I’m at my writing desk typing this) I’ve just remembered an incident that happened with a very popular duo some time back who carry […]

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The Nam

I hail from the shores of Lake Victoria. My dad was born and raised there.  He was always the boy playing by the shores of that magnificent lake, so eventually, I knew he’d become the man living by its shore, looking into its horizon. He always talked about spending his retirement there and now that […]

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First Love

I’m always attracted to bad boys. That’s my innate poison. In fact, in my teen years, it was worse. I remember when I had my first boyfriend at fourteen. He was a guy that the whole class was crushing on. We went on this class trip with our phones and I sneakily stole his phone […]

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Energy Speaks What They Don’t

They had met at least ten years ago. But this was the first time they were having a rational conversation. So many factors were always in play during their initial meetings. They had loved ones who didn’t like each other and were always looking for a catfight. Sometimes, there were kids who just didn’t understand […]

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Paradox of Pursuing 

So, I’ve really been looking back to how my writing journey began. It was old school, with a pen a paper in a hard cover A4 book. I remember one time when I got careless with it and someone accidentally poured water on it. That’s how it lost its magic. I just couldn’t see it […]

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Creative Traumas

I was casually watching a Sharon Mundia video yesterday. She was talking about the thirty two things she had learnt for sure, and one of them was that creative traumas stick with us up until we get to adulthood.  For example, that thing that your teacher said in high school, when they were like, “What […]

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Glorifying the Past. 

A lot has happened over the past week. A lot keeps happening as time goes by. Changes that are not so positive are unfolding and it is sort of messes with our mental stability. But on a more positive note, a new month awaits us. A new beginning is looming in. March was very tumultuous […]

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Popular is not Revolutionary

I was stalking Lady Mandy on Instagram at one time and she happened to redirect us to Nonie Maingi’s stories. I didn’t follow the trend immediately because I just don’t like opening cans of worms on the internet, you never know what you might find.  Days later, I saw a trend on twitter talking about […]

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Emptiness vs. Happiness

Now that I have no pressing responsibilities since breaking from school, I am kind of sleeping in a lot. My body is rejuvenating and integrating. I feel more refreshed each morning and as much as I would prefer leaning towards the inactivity, there has to be control measures put in place to ensure I am […]

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Processing

​My session for this semester ended yesterday, finally. It was a much needed break considering the back-breaking rush that we were subjected to in order to catch up with the time that we lost in the past year. After finishing my exams, my friends and I decided to go out for a hike at the […]

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Projections and Reflections

I’ve had interesting scenarios during the week. We started exams yesterday and the first one was an accounting one. Calculators were involved for sure, and even with the assurance of such impeccable accuracy, a worthy amount of doubt crept in on some of us. At the end of the day, all went well. No one […]

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Stories Heal

I remember listening in on a conversation between two close friends when I was eating lunch at some restaurant. One of the friends, let’s call her A, had apparently lashed out on B sometime earlier. B hadn’t done anything to her according to how the story went, in fact, she was making her accountable for stuff […]

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Medea, the Goddess of Illusion

I have a gruesome week coming ahead of me. I say gruesome cause it’s kind of the final lap during this semester. And it wasn’t just any kind of semester. It was a weird one, and not the good kind. I’ve tried to have some productive study sessions all to no avail. The first one of […]

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The Ego Trap

My first understanding of ego was during my early teens. I was quite an opinionated child, and hardly took any kind of opposition lightly. I would debate my arguments with a spirited fight minute after minute, most of which I actually won. Turns out, I actually didn’t know everything. I would eventually be forced to back […]

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Genesis

I have always been the one that gazes at the greener grass in someone else’s life. I was never given that grateful spirit and neither did I nurture it. For this reason, I ended up struggling with making the best out my situations. My teen years were rough. I was the kind of girl who […]

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Divinity

The other day, one of my favourite millennial writers, Kinasisi, posted a video on You Tube after a long hiatus.  He explained that his absence was because his blog had been hacked by some Chinese dude because he had fallen behind on payments or something. The emphasis wasn’t really on the Chinese thief, but how he […]

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Being my Paradox

I have been getting Facebook reminders about posts that I did exactly a year ago. I was such a diamond in the rough back then. I haven’t exactly read any of them because I know what will happen. I will cringe at how much I was stumbling and falling. I will not recognize my younger self. […]

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Be nice to you.

Yesterday, the most unexpected thing happened. I woke up feeling super overwhelmed coupled up with a painful headache. It was only the second day of the week, the weekend was far from reaching and this only made the situation worse.  As much as my body was struggling to pull itself together, I knew that if […]

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My Version of Love

It is almost Valentine’s Day. Although it seemed quite predictable that I would spend it in a different way this time round, life pulled the brakes on me a little too fast. And now here we are. The love that I’m appreciating during this season is that from my loved ones. Yesterday, I made the […]

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Fooled

Her mentor had reached out to her a couple of times to check up on her. They had had many candid conversation about life and the misgivings that each of us inevitably received. Her mentor had specific things that she wanted her to deal with so she could move to her next chapter in life. […]

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Feeling is Healing

I’m always having a rough couple of days on my intro. But this time, it’s even worse cause of my biological clock. It’s that time of the month again. Yes, the hormones are raging.  I told my Dad I’m cramping and his confusion was a little hilarious. He scrambled to get me some meds which […]

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Serenity

I happened to have a chit chat with a security guard sometime back. It started out as small talk and I couldn’t see a way out. So I just stood there, listening and nodding. She was a happy soul. Short in stature, and her footsteps were more silent than a cheetah’s. She started the conversation […]

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The Voice

I’ve always had a narrative voice in my head since I can remember. I used to think that everyone else did too, but then I grew up. And I realized that it I was having monologues with myself. Sometimes, it would extend into a video shoot, where I would imagine that a camera is following […]

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Thriving In The Cold

I’ve had a tough couple of weeks lately. We all have. People were making jokes during the new year that just because it’s a different year, doesn’t mean our problems are gonna magically disappear. For a second, I wanted to strangle them a bit, for killing the little hope we had left. But maybe, just […]

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Dealing

I’ve been dealing with stuff lately. Back then when bad stuff happened to me, I always ended up deleting them from my subconscious. I’d bury them deep inside and whenever an incident or a memory flooded back in uninvited, I’d always be left there confused and overwhelmed. Wondering how they found their way back to […]

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Labor of Love

I’ve always had a complicated relationship with my craft, which is writing. It’s something that is so glorified in the ideal world but a lot of wounds get prickled in real life. Muthoni Drummer Queen explained that art is an act of self love. Because when you really think about it, you have to search […]

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False Perceptions

I discovered my favourite writer when I was in high school. At the time, he was doing weekly pieces on the Saturday magazine. I later discovered that he had a blog which I decided to pay a visit and I never left. That was five years ago. He recently released his second book called ‘Thursdays’ […]

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Unlearning

I’ve been doing a lot of adapting lately. I’ve been adapting to the good kind of energy around me. To people that treat me well. To things that make me feel better. I’ve had a lot of turbulent relationships the past few years. My mind had adapted to this tormenting nature. My ego had put […]

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The Seed

I’ve been thinking a lot about the places where we begin our journey when we’re starting out on a new adventure. They’re never the most desirable. They never seem to be the most ideal for us because what we envision is hardly what we are able to possess at the moment. But that doesn’t mean […]

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Cupid’s Arrow

I am in love. Yeah, it happened to me a few days ago. I know I’ve been in the jaded space for quite a long time now, but were unjaders. We’re earthlings. We are here on this planet to experiment things and do things and feel things. Sometimes all of them at once, other times […]

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Apology

I need to apologize to a long-time friend of mine. We don’t talk anymore, but I feel like I still owe her this. I was a bad friend to her. If I had a second chance with our friendship, I’d do things differently. This is me owning up to my toxic ass. This is me […]

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Dream Separation

I knew she always wanted to do that. It was her ideal perfect life. When we met, she had this boldness that would lure the camera towards her. She had the command of attention wherever she went. It was like rehearsing for it her whole life. She had a life plan. Long term and short […]

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Now

I’ve been doing a lot of comparing and reality checking lately. It’s kind of inevitable when all you ever do is swipe through profiles on Instagram. The world is doing a lot of revolving. People are making quite some moves and leaving whoever behind. Milestone after milestone is all I’m seeing and I can’t help […]

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Intrinsic Happiness

I keep thinking about my firsts. And no, we’re not talking about sex or kisses today. We’re being open-minded about the practical stuff we struggle with. First on my list is blogging. Coming out as a writer and a blogger to the world was a nerve-wrecking experience. See, I would talk about controversial stuff during […]

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Cross Roads

I got a call from an old friend two days ago. It had been a year since our communication and when I finally picked it up, he was quick to mention that he wasn’t sure I’d pick up. Well, he was right about me not entertaining his phone calls. Ignoring and invalidating energy-drainers with attention […]

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Spirituality

I’ve had a jilted relationship with God. I don’t exactly hate him or anything, He’s just someone who I found it hard to go to as much as I believed in Him. My dad is a Christian. My mom was also a Christian. So at some point in my life, my sisters and I would […]

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Imposter Syndrome

I’m sure you noticed that I used to mention Biko Zulu a lot on most of my stories. Allow me to explain myself. I’ve been struggling with imposter syndrome ever since I started writing for my blog. There’s always this voice at the back of my mind telling me how my work is never really […]

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Mean Girls

I used to be such a troubled teen with troubling thoughts in high school. And the poison of it all was that, I was always smiling. So people always assumed that I was okay. And that was that. Truth is, I was deep in the throes of depression. Unfortunate life changes had unfolded quite fast […]

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Dispensable

Silas Miami always gets so vocal on Twitter about his fractured relationships with his real family. When he tweets about them and their severed ties, it never comes from a place of self-pity but that of self-actualization. He has made peace with the fact that what he used to have will never get him to […]

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Adulting

We all wished we’d grow up so we could feel that sense of responsibility upon our shoulders. We wanted our own phones. We wanted to be able to leave the house and get back anytime without being questioned with glaring eyes. We wanted to be responsible for our own selves. Just like the adults in […]

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Fame and Drama

I’m not gonna lie. I subscribe to the showbiz useless banter that comes along with being a fan of a renowned celebrity. Sure, sometimes the blogs and the interviews go over board and drag them to the gutters and as humans, we feed off such misery. But I’m learning that I’m not obligated to be […]

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Support System

Family is for keeping one grounded. Family is meant to symbolize a support system that is unconditional, everlasting and never-ending. But personally, I understood pretty well from a young age that I was alone in this thing called life, as much as I had so many people I could call family.  Here’s the thing. My […]

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Implementing Distance

I am introverted. More often than not, I always end up retreating to my cocoon which I later learnt was about recharging my social battery. Conversations exhaust me. Social events drain me, but when you have to do it, you have to do it. Back then, I always felt like I had to explain my […]

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Transitioning

It’s scorpio season. I’ll be turning twenty two in at least a week. The exponential growth that I have gone through the past year has been nerve-wrecking because no one prepares you for it. But we’re here to learn and do better for ourselves. And there’s no stop to that. Age twenty one involved a […]

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Tail Wind Vs Head Wind

She has been quite choosy on her love life lately, but it wasn’t always like this. See, she bumped into him some years ago while heading back home from school. He had attended a class and was on his way to get himself some lunch until he got distracted by that bum. Yeah. He was […]

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A Zulu Tribute

Before I began my writing escapades, I used to read a lot. I was first a fan of literature before I became a writer. I loved reading stuff so much before I even gathered up enough courage to finally write. I was inspired by writers who could articulate their feelings on paper. Writers who triggered […]

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Incentives

He always had tricks right under his sleeve. And she always saw them coming, but she was the kind that was used to sweeping things under the rug. She came from a dysfunctional family. One of her parents was never around and she struggled with that. The remaining parent often found himself stepping on her […]

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Wolves

I have an estranged relationship with my cousins. We literally see each other after ten years or more. I do not blame them. Our parents, like so many more out there were raised in polygamous house holds. So, they grew up not having close ties with their so called brothers and sisters because of the […]

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Just Show Up

I had written this piece already yesterday. It was a struggling piece. It sounded scripted, like I was trying to prove myself or something. I was planning to post it this morning but then, somewhere in the middle of copying and pasting, i deleted it by mistake. I am rewriting it, but it probably won’t […]

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Young-Ins

I’ve been around traditional-minded folks so for quite a long time now. Most of them are my age mates and I do not blame them. They’ve grown up knowing that the adults always had the answers. I used to be one of them because I have a very dominant parent who raised us by understanding […]

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Chivalry Ain’t Dead

So. I know I’ve been quite offensive when it comes to the male species. I have done so much ranting in fact that I think the universe heard me. And it brought along some pretty amazing men my way. Before I start off with my list, I should put it out there that I have […]

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Conscience Dump

There is this habit that I’ve seen around people for quite a while now. Let’s say they’re going through some stuff. So instead of working through the issues and feeling the bad stuff that no one really wants to talk about, they end up pass it on to the next person. They dump their conscience […]

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The Access Conversation

Access is such an underrated word. And it’s not because I’ve been locked out of the university system for three days now even though that sucks. It’s more of getting through boundaries and airports and getting into spaces that I could never be allowed in, in a normal space.  I’ve had unlimited access of the […]

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The Best Advice I’ve Ever Got

I’ve had a couple of trial and errors when it came to major life decisions in my life. And it wasn’t because I didn’t have sufficient guidance in my life because I actually did. But when you’re a teenager, the last thing that you can do is follow advice, especially from adults who seem to […]

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What Makes Me Human

Furry Animals and People Who Love Them My sister told me this story some time back, about me accidentally killing a kitten that we used to own. It was standing by the door way, and I had not seen it. So I banged the door and went away. My sisters found it minutes later, lifeless, […]

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Axel Collins

White lines is a series based on a free-spirited dream-chasing young man called Axel Collins. His Dad was a cop in Spain. They never said anything about his mom but his little sister, Alyssa was as charming as they come. Axel fought a lot with his dad. I assumed that it was always about two […]

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Ownership

​I haven’t had a good relationship with ownership a good fraction of my life. See, I’m the third born. Most of my possessions have been passed down to me from my sisters. It’s an African thing. Our parents’ grandparents were the typical African couple. Had many kids but weren’t fortunate to have well-paying stable jobs; […]

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Midlife Crisis

​He wasn’t exactly thirty five, but the midlife crisis was real. Being torn between two worlds- his past and future. Between what was and what could be. Having to choose between the known and the unknown. Sure enough, it did seem like a ‘midlife’ crisis to him because never before had he ever been challenged […]

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My sexuality. 

My sisters and I have been binge watching a lot of reality TV series lately and our most recent one was Temptation Island. It has a pretty vague storyline- four couples are separated from their partners and retreated into two separate vacation  houses, full of singles where they get to be tempted. They spend all […]

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The Other Side

​You told me that things like this come once in a lifetime. Actually, you didn’t. You didn’t say alot of stuff, now that I think about it. I mean, I get it. Who talks about feelings nowadays? Who? Anyway. Personally, I thought you’d stick around for a while… For at least ten to twenty years […]

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Cactus or Flowers

​Let’s talk life struggles. Daily life struggles. Physical. Financial. Emotional. Mental. Creative struggles. I’m still trying figure out my spirituality so that may not be included for now.  In my life journey, I’ve been fortunate enough to have people that have gone ahead before me. They know the ropes of life. They know what struggle […]

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Clash of Personalities

She had seen him around a couple of times before. He had a sense of emptiness in him. The kind that would make him drift to another world whenever he needed to. She later found out that he was a creative. Great. They had something in common. He understood what being free spirited meant. He […]

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Passing the Baton

I keep looking back in retrospect every time I think about this blog. It’s self reflecting season so I guess I’m not the only one on this boat. I have been going through a metamorphosis. And it all began by losing stuff. I lost so many stuff. I lost people who were so close to […]

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Train Ride Through Life

​Life happened. That’s it. But also, as it was happening, I was morphing. I have been expanding my mind for the past one month. So much reading. So many educative vlogs. Heck, I’ve hopped onto Muthoni Drama Queen’s bandwagon. I’ve appreciated her perspective on art and work-life balance and being a boss babe. Her brilliance. […]

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Writer’s Retreat

Someone once asked on Twitter where one would ideally stay for a dream writer’s retreat and how the stay there would inspire creativity. Holloway replied that his choice would be a lakeside cabin- solitude interrupted by walks in the forest and paddles on the lake in a staid old row boat with rusty oar locks. […]

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Safe Spaces

I’ve been thinking alot lately about my art. I’ve had two older siblings my whole and besides boarding schools in between, we’ve never been apart. More than twenty years together can do a lot to relationships. Most times, the best happens. People learn to blend their lives together and compromise on stuff. They learn how […]

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Dead to Me

I was watching a series a few weeks ago. It was about two ladies who were the complete opposites. They had met at a group therapy session. They were on a break and Anna was by the coffee machine, pouring herself a cup. Bella walked over to her, complimented her on how blonde her hair […]

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What the Hell?

I’m stuck in limbo. You know that point where you don’t know where you are and have no idea where you going. The waiting. The mean time. It’s happening to me. And I don’t exactly have the most patient soul out here. The fucking pandemic is driving the world nuts, and while it is expected […]

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Past Month in a Nutshell

This is a check up post. It is meant to catch y’all up on the madness we’re calling life nowadays. So here’s what I’ve been up to… I’ve been watching American Idol a lot. At first it was my sister’s cup of tea but she converted me and now I’m obsessed. Not with the screaming […]

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Free or Family

The world is becoming revolutionary. Back in the day, having a family and sticking with it was considered the biggest feat and was highly rewarded. In some cultures, it still is. Unfortunately, I have no testimony whatsoever that I can relate with personally. I guess my family is just one of those families. Back in […]

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Future Workaholic

The whole twenty one years I’ve lived, I’ve watched my father commute to and from work every passing weekday. Sometimes he complains about being overworked and having occupational struggles here and there but I can tell that he enjoys it. He enjoys the stability. He enjoys the income. He enjoys the reputation. He enjoys the […]

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Knock Knock!

My neighbor is not the typical dude that I’m used to seeing. He’s an introvert. Hardly talks to people but occasionally says hi. It’s weird. He’s weird in a good kind of way because all my life, I’ve seen men parambulating themselves for the sake of a woman’s attention. He doesn’t do that.  He’s clean […]

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Solitary Adventure

​Back when I started this blog a few months ago, i used to be so bugged by my family’s lack of support and participation. My friends were pardoned because friends are mostly fair weather… But my family? I wasn’t gonna let that slide. Spamming them with links wasn’t even a big deal anymore. If they […]

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